Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rooster


Everyone needs a Rooster. It is the Rooster that unveils who we really are...
Here is my Rooster:

All of my sins were future when Christ died for me. It is with this certainty that allows me to confess boldly and publically before God and His family, it is with certainty of his unfailing love that I humbly confess I am nothing like my Savior but so much like Judas. My money is my God. I am like Peter ashamed at times for being a Christian.

You say, "Why are you doing this to yourself, Jonathan?". I am confessing. The bible says to confess your sins to one another. In doing so we expose ourselves that we might be humble, we remember we are not perfect but He is, and we encourage each other in our weaknesses because it is in our weaknesses that we are so much alike.


I read early this morning that even one of Jesus very own disciples denied Jesus, "Peter replied, Man, I don't know what you're talking about!". Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter... Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken" (Luke 22:60-61). I alway thought Peter denied Jesus when Jesus wasn't in his presence. This morning I realized that Peter denied Jesus with him standing right there. Can you imagine what Peter felt like when Scripture says, "The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter". What kind of look do you think Jesus gave? Was it the evil eye? Was it eyes of disapointment? Or was it eyes of forgiveness?

If the Lord looked straight at me today... what would I feel? Would I lie and tell him that I love him with "all" my heart, all my money, all my time, all my affections, all my desires. Or would I confess that which he already knows, and already died for. I hope to God I would confess that though I want to love him, I at times am ashamed..., though I want to follow him at times I don't... though at times I think I am strong, mostly all the time I am weak.

So, let the Rooster crow...

I confess:

I love talking about you as long as I'm with my Christian friends.
I like to talk about being on mission but I never intend to change anything about the way I live.
I don't talk about you to strangers.
I pray to you like a man rubbing a lamp hoping for good wishes to come his way.
I struggle praying for others because I don't know how much it helps, and because it profits me little.
If I tell people I am praying for them it is not for their encouragement as much as it is for mine.
I worship you not because you are worthy, but because I need to feel good.
I compare myself to other Christians and measure myself accordingly rather than accepting my gift being called Your son.
I love sermons only because I agree with the truth of what is in them, but I rarely listen to a sermon to be challenged to change.


Jesus,

These are only a sample of the multitude of sins in my life. Thank you for bold reflections on sin, and even bolder reflections on your mercy, grace and love. It is with the Psalms that I say, "Surely goodness, and love will follow me all the days of my life". Thankyou that in all of these things you have already forgiven me. I, like Peter have denied you even in the midst of your presence. I am an imposter, a hypocrite and deserve such titles. Yet, you choose to call me Son. For this I am humbled and will ask today that somehow today you will give me the grace to change this cold heart into a well of courage and compassion to be a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to you. Thankyou for knowing my heart, and the wickedness thereof, and loving me still. It is the loving me "still" that I find so sweet.

Thankyou,
Jonathan

2 comments:

Leanne said...

Thank God He really knows us and that we can be real before him. His love for us is so amazing! Thanks for sharing this & being real Jonathan.

Alina said...

Thank you for this post and for your honesty Jonathan. It is nice to see that I am not the only one who is going through the same struggles- to worship God and do what he asks because he deserves at least that. I always thought that I was the only one who was struggling. Thank you.